Missed Abortion??

I hate the term!!

It may be medically correct, but politically??? Seriously??

The term "abortion" on its own is always dubious and riddled with dilemma and question marks, and when your MC reads "post abortion" it really looks horrible....

BUT, that is the term used to describe my condition, and I guess that's what I have to get used to and accept :-s

I was admitted into HUKM on Friday morning, and the first pill to induce the abortion) was put in at 8.15am. I started experiencing cramps around 10.00am and Prof put in the second pill around 11.45am.

By 12.30pm, with me all alone in the room, the cramps became worse and soon grew into mild contractions. Hubby went out for Jumaat prayers, Prof was also out. And besides, I was only just in pain, not bleeding, so there was no urgency yet.

The pain got worse and worse until finally when Prof came in around 2.45pm I couldn't take it anymore and I was also bleeding by then. Prof took a look and said that he could feel the fetus already so he did what he had to do and got it out.

Honestly, I REALLY appreciated the fact that I had a c-sect when I delivered Aina!!!

Anyway, fetus came out whole, with placenta and all, so Prof just scanned to make sure everything was out and I was clear, and decided that a D&C was unnecessary.

Seems development of the fetus was also abnormal, which means it would not even survive even if I did manage to carry it to full term.

Alhamdulillah.... I thank Allah that He spared me the grief and trauma one would definitely go through when experiencing the loss of a child. At least, taken at this point, the loss is not as great and we can try for another baby once I am healthy again.

Prof reminded to take care of my sugar level if I do intend to conceive again, and that if of course a definite effort on my part. For this pregnancy, I was not even aware that I was pregnant, so I was still taking my meds and not really watching my sugar which probably led to the complication.

I am now recuperating at home with a confinement lady taking care of me this one week.

To all my friends and family who's left messages on my FB, thank you very much for the words of support, the messages and the SMS's. It's helped me through, and kept my spirits high.

Thank you once again :-)



It's Just Not In the Cards....


I guess it's easier to just put it all on fate and destiny.

Aina's sibling is just not meant to be... at least not now.

I went for my monthly check up on Monday, and there was no longer any heartbeat or movements. Prof tried to be positive, but in my heart I knew. I think I'd known all this time because I just had that feeling... of foreboding, of uncertainty.

One could say that the timing was also not right for us since we had some issues to iron out, and there were some other things weighing on my head, among which included the fact that I had received my transfer around the same time I found out I was expecting.

Yes, my diabetes may have also had an effect on the pregnancy. But to be honest, I've managed to keep my sugar levels within the 'safe' zone and I do watch what I eat as mush as possible, as much as I can.

I guess at this point what we can do is just move past this as quickly as we can and focus on another baby as soon as possible. Easier said than done, I know but what else can one do?

I am expected to meet with Prof tomorrow, then we'll see how to proceed. I really don't know what to expect, and I hope it won't be too daunting!

I do hope to be able to blog more after tomorrow, but it'll depend on my access to laptop and internet :-p

Wish me luck, and please pray for me.....
Thank you!



First Step....

...towards 'filling up' our home :-D

Took us months and months and months to finally find something we liked for our living area. This is more of the "formal living hall", and the entertainment section is still pending. It's in our list of long-awaited projects, but not second in our list. I'll leave that as a surprise for future entries, ehehhehhehee...

The teddy is not Aina's, at the moment he's just like a permanent fixture in our house... LOL

Rupa Budak Sakit....


Anyway, these are some shots of Aina that Babah took, while she happily posed with her own pair of "shaan-gashes" LOL

She's all covered in calamine lotion, which was during the early stages of her chicken pox. Three days after her first spots were discovered, she would throw a HUGE tantrum each time we put the lotion on her!! Haaaiiihh..............

Just look at her poses!!! I really don't know where she picks this all up!! LOL

Her spots are drying up, so she should be out of quaratine soon. Poor girl has had to play indoors the past week... just another week to go, and she can go out and play again.
Last night, she did the MOST entertaining thing...
She was watching her Strawberry Shortcake video when we (Ana and me) realised that she was following every word and acting out all the actions!!! LOL LOL LOL
When the ball in the scene fell into the river, the character would say "Oh no!" and Aina will do the same, and drop her own ball onto the floor!!! :-D
When Baby Custard rolled on the ground, giggling... Aina rolled on the floor and giggled like crazy as well...
Seriously, it was so entertaining that we had to stop eating otherwise we'd all choke to death!!!
I tried to make a video but as soon as she saw me holding up the fone, she stopped and grinned... haaaiiihhh... never mind. We'll see if she'll do the same thing watching other cartoons, then I'll try to record her then.


Aina has the Chicken Pox!

Last weekend we went to Puncak Perdana to pick up Raihan, then for dinner.

UNFORTUNATELY, traffic was horrendous so it took us forever to get to Puncak Perdana!! By the time we stopped for dinner, it was already past 9.30pm... Since we took the looonnngg, scenic route from Puncak Perdana to go home (i.e. via Meru), we decided to have dinner at/around Muara @ Port Klang. Muara was jam-packed, so we decided to have dinner at the stalls nearby.

We'd ordered, and the drinks had arrived, when suddenly the sky opened up and it RAINED CATS & DOGS!!!! Believe it or not, they did not have any covered area at all, so we cancelled our orders and went back to the car, thinking of a new place to go for dinner.

before the heavy shower, aina looking intently into the candle

babah took this one, with aina smiling and the candle light illuminating her features
In the end, we went to BK drive-thru and had our dinner in the car, in the BK carpark at the Extreme Park in Shah Alam.
What a night!!

All of last week, I had to take leave from work since there was no one to watch Aina, and it was a good thing too, since Aina developed spots on Thursday! Yup, she got it from Qalesha.... I'd been waiting for it, and now that it's finally here I am relieved!
see, the little girl watching TV :-)
For the first two days, she was fine with the calamine lotion. But on Saturday, when we went to the LCCT to pick up Ana, Aina saw her reflection in the mirror, and that was IT! She asked for her wipes each time I smeared her with the calamine lotion, and cried her eyes out every time I applied it to the spots on her face!! Haaaiihhhh............... :-s
I finally went over to TokMi's and got the balance of Qalesha's meds and bath oil for Aina. So, now she's fine with the calamine cream, just so long as it's not the lotion :-p
Anyway, I'll update more as her chicken pox progresses, and will put in pics which her Babah took of her recently... Till then, Take Care :-)